What a waste!

"Togetherness", by me

I don’t recall being this sad, this alone, and feeling this useless in my life!
Many things are happening successively with my family and friends and I’m here watching my beloveds suffering without being able to do anything to help them or to smooth their suffering a little.

This past week has being one of the hardest one to take. Family member dying, family member being sick, family’s friend committing suicide, friends’ house burning down, I'm sick myself… but, even though I do respect all my friends' sorrow and I'm suffering with them, I must say that all those painful moments seeming nothing comparing to the pain my auntie Alice has in her heart because of the death of her husband, the only love of her life.

In Catholic Church there is a ritual after 7 days of the death of someone and yesterday was the 7th day my uncle passed away! This ritual is made with a beautiful mass but very sad as well and I really thing that it just increases the pain of those who lost their beloveds.

I called my auntie today and more than ever she was devastated. She told me that last night she couldn’t imagine that she was going to the mass of 7th day of her love. And she cried again. This time her crying was even sadder, even deeper… she also said that she as feeling so alone, feeling so nothing because she hadn’t him anymore everyday by her side. They will celebrate 50th wedding anniversary in July.

Unfortunately I was introduced to the pain of losing someone I loved deeply when I lost my father, but I’m sure that losing the lifetime companion, losing the only love you had all your life, losing that especial someone who loved and cared about you more than anything in this world, losing someone who you built your family with, losing someone that always were there for you must be the greatest pain ever.

I can’t stop crying! All these feelings together are making me feel miserable and I realized that I’m crying for all those who as my auntie lost their great love. How many times we suffer and we make our beloved suffer for so little? What a waste… one day everything will be gone forever and just this pain my auntie is suffering will last. What a waste!