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I just opened my eyes, but I have no wish, nor will to get my body out of the bed. Of course it's raining once again, my room is dark, my bed is comfy, my books are waiting for me in my office and I just wanna be here, under the blankets.
I'm feeling extremely tired as I were working in a field without any rest for weeks. Even though my chair is very comfortable, it seems full of sharp nails, hurting me every time I sit on it.
Half part of me is asking for outside activity, half part of me wants to sleep for centuries, just like the doctor said...you need to sleep for at least one century! I really feel tired. My doctor said I'm going through depression right now, but I really don’t feel it. I feel overwhelm, I feel alone, I feel empty but...are these depression symptoms? I don't feel depressed at all. Well, sometimes I do, but since I'm not in Prozac, how come a woman, in her 43s, alone, doesn't feel depressed from time to time? Impossible, in my understanding! And besides, I'm doing everything I always wanted to do now!
However, I do feel my life is being drained away, but this feeling is not just mine I guess. I have hormones or I don't have hormones playing good and letting me out of my mind for quite awhile. And everybody knows, or every woman knows how hormones make up our feelings!
I miss sunshine days. Sunshine days have a powerful influence in my life. A very powerful influence I can say. Well, I guess I'll go out, since I'm being non-sense here. I'll drive to the next Starbucks and grab a mocha. May it will help a little.
Oh yeah, I need to take my pajamas off, brush my teeth, put some clothes on, get the elevator, go to the garage...it seems complicate. It's raining, raining heavily now!
It's so cozy under the blankets....
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