Stuck Energy

As I do twice or three times a week, for about a year now, I went to Mania SPA today to have my painful, but relaxing lymphatic drainage massage to help my legs to be less swollen and my arms "computorache" free.

I do love to go there. Mania Spa is my home away from home. The girls are so sweet and before I take a steam bath and a shower, I do need to hug each one of them. Those girls make my life much much easier over here not just because they are extremely competent, but mainly because their hearts overflow love and caress, and care. I do love each one of those girls very much.

Mei-hua is the owner of the SPA and the sweetest thing you can ever image. God is so good to me that He gave me a Taiwanese sister. She is always very worried about my well being and even when we are out in a café having fun, she pulls my leg over her lap and starts massaging it. She is simply adorable! She is always studying and trying to find new techniques that could improve my health. She is really the best! Vivian, thank you so much for getting me an appointment with her.

So, today I arrived at the SPA around 11AM and Ciara, my personal massagist, was waiting for me. By the way, God really blessed me with those girls. Ciara is very competent and sweet and funny. We chat a lot or until I sleep like a bear. Her hands are so magical that just few minutes after she starts massaging me, I sleep deeply. I'm not kidding, that's for real! And as my body retains a lot of water due to the thyroid and kidney problem, I swear that sometimes I feel her soft and precise hands gently pressing my body as they were sharp needles on fire just getting slowly into my water lumps. Oh God, that is sooooo painful and even so I'm able to sleep.

Anyway, Ciara was massaging me and I could heard Mei-hua's chuckle and I smelled coffee being made by one of the girls also. My nose got so excited with that strong sweet smell that was coming out of the kitchen directly into my nostrils. I slept a little more knowing I was going to have a hot cup of coffee and good chat with my girls after my relaxation/suffering time.

About 1 hour later, sweet Ciara finished my massage and we got together around the coffee table to chat as we usually do. This was when I noticed some light hematomas on Mei-hua's neck. I started joking saying it was love bites and she said it was stuck energy marks because she used a piece of very smooth wood made in Japan to brush/scrap/rub the blocked energy out of her body.

What is especial about Mania Spa is that it's also a holistic SPA and it's all about balancing the energy centers within the body called chakras. I just love how I became calmer, focused, centered after I started frequenting this place. As I do trust Mei-hua I asked her to check if I had some blocked energy myself. Of course I was very sure about it! So, she explained to me that the tool she uses leaves marks only where the energy is stuck.

She started on my neck and she got amazed how my energy flows on it because it left no bruises. Then she came to my back and you can see on the pics bellow what happened!! It didn’t hurt, but I got scared of how red my back became. She didn't put much pressure on it. We call Mei-hua "dinosaur" because she got strong hands and arms, but she was very soft on me this time.

I was anxious to know what was going to happen to me after that session, and I got very surprised. I felt very energetic. It’s unbelievable how the Asian people hold some secrets on the way to care and treat body’s tiredness and weakness. To them, energy needs to flow freely into our organs to keep them in good shape and working properly.And I couldn't agree more!

What I know about it, it’s that I really feel a huge improvement on my health and on my life style after moving to Asia. Even though Asian people rush crazily on almost everything, they do take time to care and to take care of their health in an alternative way. Well, alternative way for me, westerner.

To them, going to SPA to have massage is part of their days and it’s taken as a serious activity and not just a way to indulge the ladies as we westerns use to think sometimes. It’s incorporate on their life style, male and female, and I did incorporate it on mine!

I wonder, how long those bruises will stay on my back!

I swear, it didn't hurt!

Oprah Winfrey and Hormones

O-The Oprah Magazine
February 2009
In Every Issue:
What I Know for Sure
page220

Overdose

About 1 week ago, I've been feeling really sick as I never felt before in my life! I have noticed strong evidences that things are not working properly in my body for sure and I wasn't wrong.

I’m not a drama queen but I must confess that I really don't know how I'm still alive after I have suffered and still suffering, moderately now, all at once for days and nights, things like blurred vision when I try to look or read at objects near or far, a mild but fearful pain in my chest, difficulty breathing, high internal fever, crazy chilly sensation that are taking me to under the blanket in a day as hot as 32C degrees, heart palpitations that starts from nowhere, increased blood pressure, increased heart rate, terrible muscle and joint pain, burning sensation in my hands and feet, little seizures, a bit of bleeding and bruising and swelling on my arms and legs!
As all that seems to be not enough, I was and I'm still feeling extremely weak and tired as I were having a strong flu and I don't sleep for more than 48 hours now! Wondering why...

I’m very happy I’m writing this now because I really thought I couldn't make as much as I was struggling without having any idea what was happened to me.

I was all alone at home and I really felt lost. I don't remember feeling that sick in all my life.
I called my doctor in Brasil and she noticed something was not ok right after I started talking. I told her all I was feeling and I answered positively to all her questions and immediately she asked me to cut in half the dosage of a strong medicine I’ve been taken for approximately 4 years! She strongly believed I was having all the symptoms of an overdose!

No, I didn't take it more than prescribed by my doctor. It's just me being me to the fullest, I mean, having complications in my daily basis tasks! I’ll explain:

I have a very low basal metabolism due to my illustrious thyroid! Basal metabolism is the minimum energy you need to stay alive, and I need to take a medicine to improve it. Since the 1^st prescription I got I started feeling really good, especially in the 1^st year. All my body and its functions were working greatly and I couldn't be happier! I could feel my old friend Leandra back again!

Sibutramine is the name of the medicine! If you take it, please be in constant alert! It has worked so well on me for the past 3 years but I’ve noticed that it doesn't have the same result anymore. I’ve observed it for more than a year now and my dedicate doctor in Brasil is researching another one that could substitute it, having the same effects in my body as sibutramine did earlier.

This medicine worked so good on me that I used to say that I felt as I were the cute Atomic Ant, super hero, as strong and powerful I was being. It increases my metabolism in a totally way, letting my brain sharp and keeping some kilos away.
Detail: I don't take this strong medicine for weight loss reasons. In fact I never did and I never will take any medicine for that purpose! I have enough health issues to deal with to be worried about the aesthetic side of low metabolism. I just want be health, having my body working as it must be! As I’m a petite woman, any kilo above my normal is a problem.

Anyhow, I was having all those "warnings" that something wasn't ok with me but never thought it could be an overdose since my doctors are extremely careful and conscious about prescribing me any medicine. As I'm a complicate case, they take all the measures to help me to have at least a minimum of quality life any human deserves.

I’m taking half dose for 2 days now and I started feeling better, thank God.

Today in the Hospital

This morning I went to Chang Gung Memorial Hospital to draw my blood out to check on my already famous thyroid as I said last night.

It's a very huge hospital. In fact it is a complex, built in the 70's to attend Taipei county population. It is one of the several huge hospitals here in Taiwan.
I'm here for almost a year now and I never saw small or private clinics or physician offices, so I can't affirm whether there is or there is not!
Everybody I know uses the NHI-National Health Insurance that was implemented in 1995 and I was told that its coverage reaches 98% of the population.
Well, now I understand why hospitals are so full of people!

What I know is that everything is done directly in hospitals. I go to the hospital I choose, present my NHI card on the Information Counter, someone from there literally points out where I need to go to get what I need.
It becomes complicate sometimes because I've notice that Taiwanese is prolix by nature, but as they are extremely gentile...just enjoy the talking, even in crowd hospitals.

By the way, the NHI card has a chip that holds all medical information and this high tech solution makes things easier and faster.

Tomorrow I'll know when I'm going to get the results and talk to the physican. For now, enjoy the pics...enjoy...yeah, right!

Chang Gung Memorial Hospital Complex

Whey Protein

As I have talked here few times, I have a rare thyroid disease. Thyroid is a gland, butterfly shape, localized in the bottom part of the neck, but it can move around, a little, as well. It controls our metabolism and many other functions of our bodies and it may cause many little problems that are usually not cared, especially by/in women. Those "little problems" get huge if not treated on time and they can really mess a life up and I mean it, unfortunately by my own experience.

When this little gland decides on its own to be decompensate, even taking levothyroxine regularly, basic activities become a nightmare. The symptoms list is huge, but actually I'm having the worst 2 symptoms that are the "extreme exhaustion" and the "intellectual ability worsens".
For me those 2 are the worsts one because they interfere greatly in my physical, intellectual and emotional capabilities, letting me in a terrible shape.

I'm feeling so tired that it seems I have loaded a truck of rice bag all by myself without any rest as exhaust as I'm feeling and I feel this way just few seconds after I open my eyes in the morning. Then as the day goes by, I can tell that I'm dead!

All my body aches and being almost in the same position for sometimes over 15 hours doesn't help much. My body is getting the shape of my chair, my arms are stiffing and my legs are very swollen.
I swear to God that I'm not a complainer... Or at least I don't complain in vain... Well, complain to whom anyway?!

I'm taking a muscle relaxer and it is helping a little. Today I thought I couldn't walk due to the heaviness of my lower legs. I tried to have them in repose for some hours, but suddenly I looked around and I noticed that I didn't clean the apartment on Sunday and it was a mess for my organization standards.
I got up and I vacuumed, I mopped, I washed the dishes, I cleaned the oven and the fridge, I washed the towels, I wiped off the dust, I organized some papers on my desk, I cleaned the bathrooms, I made my bed, I cooked and washed, dried and placed the dishes again, I read, I wrote, I answered emails and returned some calls, I charged batteries, downloaded and organized some pictures, I took the trash out, I changed some plants from different vases and I guess that's all I've done today. I'm feeling over-tired now but with a reason at least!

All the pain, tiredness and uncomfortableness don't bother me, really. What really drives me insane is the intellectual/memory thing...what can be worse to a grad student who doesn't do anything else beside reading and writing days after days...
It's so frustrating when you finish a page and then you turn it and inquire yourself...what did i just read...and you don't remember...

Those 2 symptoms can be easily identified by people who have thyroid dysfunction. Adding to it, usually, the lethargy as well. It can take a while to realize that the women (more frequently than men) are not being lazy or inactive or always in a bad mood that are also precisely symptoms that something is not going ok with the gland. However there are symptoms/consequences that are so gradually installed in our bodies that even trained physicians will not relate them with thyroidism as first sign, or second sign or third sign... I'm talking about the lost of protein!

One of my physicians in Brasil, a very competent nutrologist, Lunamaris Moure, found out few years ago that my muscles couldn't hold protein into them anymore. This happens because thyroid "eats" it up very slowly. We both women and men lose muscles as we age, and protein is one of the main compound that gives sustenance to our muscles! Without it, our muscle cannot be capable to develop its functions properly! It can became a critical problem.

Woman and man who have a dysfunctional thyroid need a little extra help with the protein intake! You can find harmless protein shapes in sportswear and natural food stores very easily. Usually they come in huge pots and has flavor, what doesn't work out for me.

As I have a very natural diet and my body doesn't accept too much refined anything, it wasn't easy to adapt to those shakes and I didn't! I puked every time I need to take it. My stomach doesn't accept those "aliment" with so many ingredients in their labels written in codes.

So, will­ing of all disposition and hope I spent many long hours goggling about whey protein and I found Bio Pro in the USA. It was a blessing because Bio Pro has no flavor and mix with juice very easily as you can see below.

Immediately as I found it, I emailed it to my nutrologist and she approved it after carefully examined what it was made of!

It's unbelievable how it works good and fast. It goes directly to the muscles and almost 100% of it is absorbed, leaving very little to be expelled by the urine, what can provoke renal stones.

I take my whey protein regularly and I cannot be without it for long. Unfortunately the Whey Protein Institute doesn't ship it abroad and it's necessary to have someone in the USA to receive and send it to me.
Thank God good friends are everywhere!

Well, it isn't the most delicious shake ever, but it isn't bad at all. I take it with pleasure!
This is how I prepare my protein!
Enjoy it!

**I'll go to bed now! In few hours I'll go to the hospital to draw some blood out to test my levels of hormones. For sure something is not ok! I'll do Free T4 and Free T3 and TSH-Thyroid Stimulating Hormone!

So weak

I'm feeling terrible. I don't know if I got a cold or that is my allergic rhinitis that misses me much and decided to anticipate its season attacking me once again or if it's just my immune system being low, advising me that my thyroid is not compensate or other hypothesis that I can't figure out now.

Well I do not know the reason of this flu feeling thing, but I can assure that I'm feeling sooooo weak. I have no forces whatsoever. All what my body wants is bed or sofa! I'm feeling so weak that a single sheet of paper is being heavy for me to hold. I feel my head huge and with the weight of the world on it. Really, I'm not exaggerating!

I'm having all classical symptoms of a good flu:

• Fever
  
• Headache
• Muscle aches
• Chills
• Extreme tiredness
• Dry cough
• Runny nose

My tissue's boxes don't exist anymore. I used all the 3 boxes I had, only today, and my nose has suffering the consequences of so much wiping, it's sore of course.

I'll take a shower and go to bed...I can't fight against that...I really can't!

In Brasil

I’m in Brasil now doing my battery of blood tests! I just got the firsts 25 results and it seems I have anemia again and of course my sweetheart thyroid is not on its perfect shape!! Well, I’m so used to always have something that I don’t get even scary anymore!!

But the good thing is: I’m in Brasil!!
I left Taiwan on May 3rd and I went to Bangkok, Thailand and to Saigon, Vietnam and I arrived here on May 8th wearing a sparkling orange Thai pant instead of the usual black outfit I use to travel on!! This trip was the best one I ever did and I guess it is pleonasm if I say that this trip was beyond any expectation of a wonderful trip!
I always wanted to go to Saigon and I went to Saigon! It means a lot to me, like a new horizon opening in my life!

I’m having a problem trying to connect my cute laptop to my brother’s wireless network and because of this "logistic" problem I didn’t post any pic yet. The pics below, I download them when I was in Bangkok still!

I gotta go now! I´ll finish the captions later!

I miss blogging…yeah, I really miss blogging…
I miss reading my favorite blogs as well…

Detail of the Prasat Phra Debidorn´s wall

Phra Sri Ratana chedi

My lifesavers

Tonight I went to the hospital to get my medicine and I took my lifesaver to help me to get my lifesaver!

I'm so happy I got it on time! In about a week, if the medicine works well as the other one, I'll be back in shape...I do hope so!

This is my lifetime lifesaver

And this is Alice's hand, my lifesaver in Taiwan!
Thanks Alice for everything!

I got it, I got it!!!

Well not yet, but tomorrow night I'll put my hands on those cute pills my eyes ever saw!

I was informed that Synthroid is not sold here in Taiwan but a nice doctor found Eltroxin that is thyroxine as well. Thyroxine, T4, is the principal hormone secreted by the normal thyroid gland. As I was born without the butterfly gland, my body doesn't produce thyroxine! Got it?!

Anyway...I'm so so glad I'll get my pills tomorrow! I'm having now a little dysfunction and I have no idea why, since I'm taking my hormone every morning. Well, it isn't because I take my medicine regularly that my body will work regularly! I have been aware about that for years and years!

Even though I don't need and I didn't need a situation I got myself in to show me how nice people here are, I need to say that many people were moved by my dilemma and even my dear friend Vivian's son got worried about it. He is just 12 years old and was asking his mother if I got what I need to put me in shape again! This is so sweet!

I'm so happy to know that I'm not alone here and this feeling of being cared is the most wonderful feeling ever! I was so orphan of this sentiment in Switzerland that I feel now as I were feeling it for the first time n my life!
What a huge difference in our lives when we know for sure that we are around people who has a heart, people who take their time out to try to help someone they just met, people who really care!
This light my life and my heart up!

One thing that increases the thyroid dysfunction is emotional stress, at least in my case, and I'm so glad that I'm almost 100% stress free here, thank to the wonderful Taiwanese people!

Also...I always got a great support from my blog friends and in this case it wasn't different! I'm so blessed for having you guys in my life. You are really present and I don't feel you as virtual/blog friends but as a real friends!
It's magical to feel the care from someone I don't know even the real name...sometimes! It's really a fascinating thing when you trust, like, love, care for someone you never saw the face. It's something totally disproved of carcase letting just the heart and the soul speak!

Thank you so much guys! From the bottom of my heart, thank you so very much!

Synthroid

Oh dear God, I'm scared!!

This morning I was taking my medicine as I do daily since I was 12 years old and I noticed I only have 3 pills and 20 more days to go until I arrive in Brasil!

Good news: Yes, I'm going to Brasil! I'm going not just for fun but also and mainly to "visit" my doctors again! I'm not feeling good at all and this really freak me out, making me anxious and nervous! And when I think I can be out of synthroid for this long...
It isn't a good picture!

This little blue guy above is my sacred Synthroid, 150 mcg! Without this blue pill I'm a unplugged woman and it isn't funny at all!

I've asked my dear friend Vivian if is possible for me (for her) to get 20 pills here without having an appointment with an endocrinologist and I'm waiting for her reply! I'm not in a mood to go to a doctor and talk about this non-existent gland right now! Really, I'm not in a mood and it's also because of it itself!
Also I sent an urgent email to my brother and sister-in-law asking them to send me as "super urgent priority" as first thing in the morning!

Oh boy, I'm scared!!

What is going on...

I don’t know what is happening with me. I have been the most unproductive person ever alive and I’m not exaggerating it at all!

I really don’t know what to do to take me out of this inertia I put myself into! I know for sure it isn’t anybody’s fault, just mine, but I can't move! Unfortunately it's so true! Some psychologists use to say that knowing the problem is half of the way to solve it…I wish it could be true…

I was thinking that I could blame my non-existent thyroid since it really knows how to tie me up, letting me completely immobile, but I don’t know if I will commit a great injustice doing that. It has a great deal of responsibility on my life style but I can’t put all my non-solve issues on its shoulders!

It’s true that I’m not feeling very well lately and I guess I started to swollen a little. My medicines are almost gone, I have only 20 pills left of the major one that I took from Brasil but I still have them and I’m taking them regularly and they should been working properly in my body.

I guess I’m just trying to find something to blame on…that’s terrible!

Also, I realize I’m more productive when I’m sinking in completely blue! I like being into the fall season of myself where I can dig into my inner thoughts and let some of my old leaves fall down to let the newer ones grow.
I’m really living in a hot summer season now. I have met wonderful people here and I have had great time. Nothing, absolutely nothing to complain about!

But this contraction is killing me?! How can I be happy and unproductive? I’m not joking…for example, right now it 5:17PM. I went to bed at 3AM and I slept well until 7. I went out and came back home. I started reading and I felt asleep very soon, awaking up at noon. Well, at least I can’t complain of my lack of sleeping whatsoever!

So, at noon I got up and I opened my cute laptop and read some news, chatted a little and I did some laundry! When I turned my computer on I started to write something I’m really in need to do so and until now I just finished one paragraph. So I as I couldn’t put my mind to work in writing I tried to read. I've spent almost 2 hours in one paragraph and I couldn’t get through it. This really makes me unhappy! I don't know what is going on but I can smell something not so funny!

I have a apartment to clean, Chinese to study, text to write, pictures to classify, songs to organize, CD to burn, calls to make, emails to answer, dishes to wash, books to read, post to write, dinner to make, grocery to buy, comment to comment, class to go and…and nothing!! I didn’t do anything!! I’m feeling tired, heavy and very sleepy!

It really sounds as a thyroidian power is trying to immobilize me! Oh God no…It can’t be true!! No please!! I’m just recovering from a huge crisis…please don’t let me have another one so soon! Please!

It's back!

The sleepless time is back!!

It's 7:40AM, morning to be very specific, and I didn't sleep yet!! Oh yeah, "yet" suggests some hope that I'll be able to sleep in few hours or so...I doubt!!

I called Brasil and my cute 5 years old niece was telling me how to sleep all night long..."auntie Dada, just close your eyes and you will sleep!" I wish I could follow her instructions!! It seems soo easy!

I've tried everything...counting sheep, tea, hot chocolate, warm bath, cool room you name it. I know it's related to my non-existent thyroid but I don't give up and I will keep looking for alternatives that seem reasonable!!

The sleepless time is back and stronger than ever...

Wrong Diagnostic

I have been in Brasil for 2 weeks and the only thing I have done is going from doctor to doctor, from lab to lab to take my blood out. I'm feeling very tired with this rotine.

What really helps is my niece and my nephew. They are so wonderful!! I have spent a great time with them, with lots of fun and great laughs and this is what is helping me to go through all those crazy medical stuff.

Well last week one of my physicians asked me to change the lab I was having my blood tested and we had a huge surprise: for 2 years I was having a wrong diagnostic and it almost killed me. My kidney was stopping literally. Thank God it was "fixed" on time.
For 2 years my thyroid's hormone doses were getting smaller instead of getting increased and it was responsable for all my endless illness.

It is almost over now, with a huge dose of optmism of course. I'm taking strong medicine to give my body a kind of wake up call. By the way, until now I have done 48 blood tests!

I'll go now to see one of my physicians and I hope it will be the last one for this wee at least!

Moving in, Moving out

Movers joke from Grantland

I have a deadline now and it’s sooo cool!! Until October 15^th I’ll be out of Switzerland for good!! I mean, I don’t have the exact date yet, but for sure I’ll be leaving in less than a month!! Hip
I really have a lot of things to do and I’m so happy for that!

In 2003, when I moved from the USA to here, I was very excited! Wow, I was moving to Europe, the old continent!! An art historian living in Europe was a great match!
So, I was told that a moving company would do everything to me and I didn’t need to lift one single finger!! I was feeling as “the cherry” of a Sunday ice cream!

Of course nothing good happened!! I let for the first and last time ever, a moving company taking care of all my stuff and it was an experience I won’t forget! It really was much more stressful than if I had doing everything myself. So, I learned the lesson!
Doesn’t matter the reputation of the company, doesn’t matter how organized it looks like, how competent it is, it’ll be always me, the only one who will pack my books, my CDs, DVDs, my kitchen apparatus, my clothes, my electronics appliances and son on.

I know there is a huge difference between the meanings of our personal belongs to us and to the moving company! We look at one chair and we see more than a chair; we see a piece that carries our memories and the moving company sees a piece of wood or metal. We look at our books and we care about them! It hurts seeing them being put inside a cold box having just the signification of…paper!!
Almost all carriers pack our belongings as used and maybe crap things and this is the huge difference between my packing and their packing!
And besides, in my previous experience, a lot of unnecessary material was used, making my bill a lot expensive.

I’m a very organized person but I’m not freak organizer for sure, but when I saw those guys just mixing things up in my home in the USA and making a huge confusion I had no other alternative than the needed to go to a walk and crying my eyes out and I don’t want to go through all that again!
Oh I forgot! They delayed the packing work for 4 days doing it just and only in the day before I was flying to here. Really it was very very stressful and I don’t want to go through all that again ever!!

My dearest friend Teresa and me having "the last breakfast"!

Oh! I also need to mention my dear friend Teresa Shaw getting at my apartment on the morning I left, with all my favorite breakfast food from a local diner in Blacksburg! Opening the door and seeing her with a box in her hands with everything I could ever imagine was great!

So, I have a carefully plan to make my moving as easier and smoother as possible! I have a plan and I started putting it in practice already! As I’ll pack-storage-ship to different continents I must stick to the plan to get everything done on time and without much stress.
As I’ll move to France, somewhere in France, I can’t send my books and personal belongs to Brasil. I’ll pack them and leave them here in storage. As I was told about my budget, I’ll ship all my furniture, my killims rugs, electronics that are in very good condition to Brasil and keep them there until I need them again! Who knows where I’m gonna settle for good…

There is just one little detail about it…I’m sick!
My inexistent thyroid is giving me a real hard time. I have muscle ache and all kinds of aches you can think of from my head to my toes and I can’t give it up or I don’t want to give it up!
A minimal effort is becoming a huge spending of energy and making me very very exhausted! Last night I was washing my hair and I started crying for the pain I was having in my arms!

And just to add a little more adventure and excitement to my life, my 4mm kidney stone decided to be very awake and sometimes it moves as it were dancing samba, making me cry with such a pain!
Well, not enough? I got an kidney stone and kidney infection all together!! I really can't complain of tediousness around here!!
Almost each other day I need to take stronger medicine to kill my pain! I’m so thankful that I’m going to Brasil soon and I’ll be able to take care of myself with my doctors who really know my illness or anomaly!!

I guess I’m just like the bamboo bush…the wind bend it over but don’t break it!!

The day my things arrived in my home in Switzerland!