Sui Generis

I left Brasil yesterday, 12th, Valentine's Day in Brasil. I already took 1/2 of the trip and I still have a lot to go. Right now I'm in a cafe in Amsterdam, Schipol Airport trying hard to kill time...it's much stronger than I'm!

I'd booked a tour to see Amsterdam once again, but it was canceled and as it's raining I decided to stay here the 8 long hours I have to wait to catch my flight to Bangkok!

I'm very exhausted, mentally and physically! Those 34 days in Brasil were...yeah, sui generis. I didn't go anywhere beside hospital and doctor's offices and labs. I didn't see any of my dear friends, I didn't go to any of my favorite restaurants, I didn't go to any party. What did I do? Good question!

Sometime I think I can held time on my hands and make things work on my own time. But then I go to Brasil and suddenly I have no control whatsoever of my time, of my life, of my will. Why? No idea. I just know that I'm able to figure it out when I'm there but I'm not able to take any action to change it in my own old and used way!

And it makes me very stressed! I got in Brasil wearing a bright orange Thailand style pant and on week later or less I came back to my black bold outfits. And being stressed is not a good thing for anybody. Emotional stress cuts the effect of the hormones I need to take daily. Without it I'm completely unplugged. So, I get unplugged there for long time and it makes a mess on my body letting me extremely sensitive to everything and to everybody. That's why I didn't go anywhere and I didn't see anyone. I preferred to be locked at home or better saying...i have no forces even to go out to meet a friend in a cool place.

Well, adding to all this the time my mother spent in a hospital. Oh God, what a trip!!

So, coming back to my routine and to my massages I hope my medicines will start working
soon and to its fullest! I'm hungry to live my life!

Right now is 15:34 and my flight will be at 20:35. I have a long way to go still!!

As my legs are very swollen, I'm gonna walk a little to help them out!