Nobody can be sad forever.

Power, by me

I don’t know why I woke up this morning with this message hammering my mind: Nobody can be sad forever! Nobody can be sad forever!

I do know that, but sadness is a particular feeling. I don’t know its extension, its duration, and its weight. It has its own life. I just know that it exists and also that it is there, very comfortable installed into the bottom of my heart, of my head.

Magazines, psychologists, friends, strangers, family from outside my sadness’ pain keep telling me that it will go away and also the cliché time is the best medicine and so on… I know that! I know!! Everybody knows that! That's the unique thing I’m familiar with.

However when it decides by its own to appear I cannot take it. I need to wallow it, to go through it, to cry it out!

Sometimes I look at those compassions people’s eyes and I try to sketch a smile saying thank you for stand by me, but my very sad yellow smile doesn’t comfort, doesn’t relieve.

Sadness is incredible powerful! It can drop a person down for weeks, months, or even years.
I remember exactly the pain I felt in my heart when my uncle just told me: “your father died”! It was 26 years ago and I was just a teenager, just my father’s little girl. My dad was my best friend, my world.

As I said, I remember exactly what I felt when I got this new. I don’t know how hard I have tried to forget that moment, but in vain…
This pain will never end, will never diet. I know that for sure, I have known that for many years. That pain will never live me. Never! Who said that I want to be a non-polite hostess and ask it to live, anyway? It is here, with me, inside me forever. It belongs to me!
It’s calm and rest for the most of the time, but suddenly it wakes up and I become the saddest person on earth. Me, a 40 years old woman, become my father’s little girl once more and I cry without any shameless. And then, after some minutes or hours, it lives me alone with my routine. I get myself busy, some distraction and I can forget it until nobody knows when. One day, bam! It misses me and hits me and everything starts over.

Nobody can be sad forever. Why I know that, but I just don’t believe it. I mean, i believe when I'm not into it.

It does not matter if the pain comes from a broken heart, from the death of a love one, from terrible news that I just watched on TV or from a dear friend in pain... I always think that there is no end for that feeling and I never know how deep it is. But one day without previous notice, it is gone!! Weirdly gone! Magic gone! .
It comes, it goes by itself. I have no control at all!

That's true! Nobody can be sad forever, thank god! It’s so heavy to take it all life long. But, who does decide that? Myself? The sadness itself? The inner power I have? The time? God? The universal order?
Who or what I need to thank?

And about happiness. Nobody can de happy forever?

Take care!