The lion that always I rode

Besançon, France by me

Last night I was going to bed, about 4 am, and I decided to check on my blog, like a mother check her baby. I got so excited!! I got my first viewer and my first comment. Maybe it is silly for somebody, but for me it was like “hello, you are alive”!
I don’t know if you know how happy you made me last night.
I’m really a people person, but right now I’m feeling very isolated and that’s why your comment was so important to me! Thank you so much!

Well, in the beginning of this year, I went to France to study French and my life just changed drastically. I had a dream to live in a dorm, at the university since I was a college student in Brazil. Well, I did. I lived alone there for 9 weeks and I could think a lot about my life. Many things happened, things that I never thought one day would happen to me. I really enjoyed my life there. Really enjoyed! I enjoyed being “alone” if you know what I mean! I felt that I had my life back again and back there I was the only proprietary of my nose. I felt stronger, happier, powerful, woman. I think that it was the first time that I felt myself as a whole package, as a whole me! Boy, I felt good!

But, was that a dream?
I had many issues in my head before I “moved” to France. I used to be a very engaged and active woman in my country. I was a student, a worker, a contester, a teacher, and a volunteer. I was really involved with the local and national politics and with the local culture. I was a reference for many people, student or not. It was 8 years ago, I mean, yesterday! And now? What am I?
“Attendez s’il vous plait!”

It is getting late and I’m trying to sleep at least a little before sunrise. So, I want to finish it today with a Brazilian song by Adriana Calcanhoto that I love so much and that translates my “self-inquire”!
Wait! Last year, a very dear friend of mine asked me to start writing. There I go! I’m curious to see where I will go…

Inverno
há algo que jamais se esclareceu: onde foi exatamente que larguei, naquele dia mesmo, o leão que sempre cavalguei?

Winter
there is something that never was clarified: where it was exactly that I released, in that same day, the lion that always I rode?

Take care!